Nobody loves me.

I am a Nasrani, male.
For those not clued in into 36 million sub-sects of the Catholic Church, I am a Syrian Catholic.

I am not SC / ST / OBC.
So when it comes to school and college,
and jobs and promotions, no reservation.
In Karnataka, that means you are the slogging 50.3%.
Karnataka and for that matter India, don't love me.

That makes me a 49.7% unloved Indian.

Technically, mine is a minority community.
But of course, 'minority' depends on how big a noise you make.
So I can't be considered minority, either.
You heard the Yadavs shout when it came to the Women's Reservation Bill in Parliament.
Muslims and OBCs were worried about.
Not this poor Nasrani.
Mulayam and Laloo don't love me.

That makes me an 'unspecified small slice' of a 49.7% unloved Indian.

To add to this, I made one big mistake.
I married a caste Hindu.
Which, now leaves me and future generations nowhere.
And Pramod Muthalik doesn't love me.

Which makes me an 'unspecified small slice' of a 49.7% unloved Indian who Pramod Muthalik hates.

So I slog.
And through sheer dint of hard work, earn some money.
Which promptly cheers the IT department.
And puts me in the 33% plus bracket.
The IT guys, if none else, love me.

Now I am part of an even smaller set.
Now I am an 'unspecified small slice' of a 49.7% unloved Indian who Pramod Muthalik hates who is forced to pay 33% taxes.

After the 33%, I can't share in the company's profits.
To do that, I have to pay another 16%.
Because unlike IT and IT services, there ain't no tax holidays for what I do.
Which, in Bangalore, makes me 33% of 49.7% of 20.2%.
On second thoughts, even the IT guys don't love me.

But hey, if I talk about profits and money,
that makes me a capitalist pig.
The red flag bearers don't love me either.
[That too, after all the writing I did for them in the romantic days of my youth.]

So here's an 'unspecified small slice' of a 49.7% unloved Indian who Pramod Muthalik and the Reds hate who is forced to pay 33% taxes + 16% of profits.

And soon, women will have 33% reservation in Parliament.
Which of course, is a great thing to happen from the empowerment perspective.
Didn't we all see how even though unlettered, Laloo's wife Rabri Devi could get empowered?
Didn't we see how Mulayam's son Akhilesh Yadav's wife almost got empowered?
Don't we know how Karunakaran's daughter Padmaja got empowered?
But then, one second, why are we referring to these empowered women in relation to their husbands and fathers?
That's unfair to women's lib.
And the Pink Chaddis might take after me!

So, let the Bill be passed, I pray.
Now I am an 'unspecified small slice' of 66% of 49.7% unloved Indian who Pramod Muthalik and the Reds and the Pink Chaddis hate who is forced to pay 33% taxes + 16% of profits.

What does that make me?
There's only one person who can answer that.
My CA.
And if I ask him that, I'll lose the only person in the country who loves me.