Encounters of the Indian kind.

No more gripe.
No more points of view.
No more -isms.

I am just going to sit back and laugh.

Announcing...
My top 3 road stories.
Cymbals and flashing cherubim.

Riding in a rick to work today.
Ahead, spot a parked Scorpio.
Spot a green and yellow govt. plate on it.
Rick stops next to it.
Get a chance to observe it at 3 feet.
It says 'Street of Karnataka'.
Legal? Yes.
Street smart? Yes.
Gowda? Yes.
Ingenuous? Yes.

We had a Bihari carpenter do up our office.
(Do down, rather.)
He has a moped.
I ask him if he has a licence.
He shakes his head.
Verbatim:
Self - "Toh aapko police nahi pakadta?"
Carpenter: 'Pakadne hi nahi deta hoon!"
Self: "Woh kaise?"
Carpenter: "Woh sir police yeh (left) side pe rukta hai. Hum doosre side pe chalata hoon."
Croak: "Hamesha?"
Carpenter: "Haan sir."
When in Bihar, drive on the right.

In Ahmedabad.
Am riding down the street on a Kinetic.
After a Sunday 'buying bazaar'.
I see a black Zen reversing out onto the road.
I wait for the driver to use his rear-view mirror.
Then, I honk.
Then, I stand on the hooter.
Then, he hits me.
I pick myself up.
Next to the black-tinted driver's window.
Assume my most menacing pose.
(Kinetic between legs, arms across chest.)
45 seconds go by.
Power windows roll down.
Blasts of Daler reveal 45ish Surd.
Wearing still darker glares.
Silence and glares.
Self: "Can't you see?"
Surd: "AC on, window closed."
Self: "Toh horn sunai nahi diya?"
Surd: "Music system on, can't hear."
I get out of his way.
Somewhere out there is a Daler fan.
Driving down the highway, blind, deaf and turbanned.

Am sure you guys have more.
Put them down.
I shall compile, edit, publish, make my moolah and retire.

Tomorrow, Top 3 Advertising stories.